Underneath a blue umbrella sky

Surprise! I woke up on the right side of the bed today. Even if I woke up to my dear mother’s unnecessary panic over the padlock she couldn’t, for the life of her, open again (because she keeps on using the wrong key). At least I didn’t wake up to the usually bothersome (and scandalous) quarrels of the next-door neighbors from hell, or the radio blaring old country music so early in the morning. For some reason only God knows, it was a beautiful Sunday morning. So I woke up early, watched nostalgic cartoons (the same ones I’d been watching over and over again since I was in grade school), had puto and cheap spaghetti some vendor was selling for breakfast, washed the dishes I’d neglected washing the night before, and hurriedly tried to spread the infectious happiness that was overwhelming me to both friends and strangers online. It was just a great way to start the day. The sun seemed to smile, its beams warm yet kind and gentle, and the air calm and pleasantly cool. There was so much happy energy going around even the wild, murderous beasts we call our dogs were at their best, least destructive behavior, quietly lying like placid, harmless pieces of wooden garden furniture in the backyard.

Later I did my laundry and hung them up to dry on the clothesline (so idyllic), watched some local TV shows I surprisingly found quite entertaining, and had some lunch. Still, there was a little, almost invisible smile on my face. But I knew it was there, of course, if you know what I mean. Soon I had to run some errands (my mother, a teacher all her life, had run out of liquid eraser and my brother needed his clothes dropped off at the maritime school where he’s imprisoned for the rest of the school year) and visit the mall again. I know. I’m not supposed to be spending the way I am. I felt my conscience pulling me back a bit again, too, but no, I just had to buy a vest after waiting months just to get twenty percent off of its original (and ridiculously expensive) price. My conscience, of course, couldn’t do anything about it and gave up, retreating in shame to the dark corners of my mind.

It was such a good day I just wanted to make the most out of it. Carpe diem, as they say. And seize the day I did. I was in so good a mood I explored my closet and walked around the city as if it were some sophisticated metropolis (it is not), running errands wearing a white graphic tee (that had the words “go for it” printed on it), blue plaid skinny jeans, my plum colored Converse All-Star sneakers, and a yellow and black scarf. I also had white wayfarers on and lugged a big printed canvass bag around. Had you seen me you would have just stared blankly, laughed in amusement or cried in utter horror. The hideousness of it all might even haunt the dreams of some innocent children forever. Still, I am so in love with myself right now I couldn’t care less. I wear normal clothes. Just before people recognize they are. Like any normal human being, though, all that walking around the mall and conscious posing for people who gave me strange looks consumed my energies and soon I was hungry and badly in need of a place to sit and rest my geriatric feet on. But I didn’t want to spend any more than I already did. My wallet was threatening me it would run away and never come back. So I just marched to the grocery and bought a bottle, half a liter, of fruit flavored white tea instead, and convinced myself it was all I needed to revive my now lethargic spirits. It was a good day. I believed myself.

Even if it was around three in the afternoon I walked out of the mall and decided I’d take a different (and cheaper) route home, one that required me to walk my way up to the downtown area instead of just lazily boarding one of the jeepneys parked outside the malls’ entrances. The mall I’ve been treating like a spiritual temple and refuge of sorts for the past few months is near the bay area, such that a pleasant breeze always lulls the parking lot into a calm, serene silence. The pier is right behind the empty lots outside the mall’s rear end, and the mall seems to be thriving and constantly flooded with tourists having the sea port nearby. With the cold wind blowing from the ocean, it wasn’t that hot to take a (really long) walk. And besides, I wanted to save every centavo that I could, anyway, so little sacrifices had to be made. It was an unusually beautiful day, really. I walked from the mall all the way up to the strangely empty street across the city plaza and then crossed to the nearby commercial center, looked around a bit, crossed another busy street lined with people selling fruits and pirated DVDs and cellphone accessories and magazines and poor little puppies and peanuts, and then rode a jeepney that would take me home. I could’ve bought some salted peanuts along the way (they come dirt cheap so I didn’t have a problem with that) but quickly remembered I had eaten tons in the past few weeks and that they’re especially prone to fungal growth that releases carcinogenic aflatoxins that might come back to haunt me in the future. So I just took another sip of my tea instead and walked on.

I just did a great job telling myself it was a great day and insisting it was all good that I cooked chicken adobo for dinner and was relieved to know I still cooked it as good as ever (either that or my family has an innate immunity to poison). It even started to rain, something that never fails to make me feel all giggly inside. Today was just a beautiful Sunday. It’s hard to say when I’ll have another Sunday (or another other day for that matter) like it. I believe that as we go through the long and winding and often misleading road that is life we will only come upon two kinds of days. Yes, two. Only two. The good, and, of course, the bad.

There are days that you wish would never end. I wish all my days were like this, light and easy and bright and warm and breezy and sunny. When I feel everything is as it should be, when everything feels right, when I am at the right place at the right time with the right people (even if I’m by myself) doing the right thing in the right frame of mind. When everything seems possible and all your dreams and even the highest and farthest of your ambitions are so clearly so close at hand. When you feel like skipping and hopping instead of just walking and singing a happy song aloud instead of just quietly humming and tapping your feet. When the haze of confusion disappears and everything is so suddenly clear, lucid moments that come seldom and far between, that bring an unusual sense of clarity and wisdom. When the world seems so perfect and colorful even an old fire hydrant becomes peculiarly interesting and you seem to live underneath a blue umbrella sky. When the spirit of inspiration strikes you and lifts the clouds of gloomy doubts from your head. When the universe and life present themselves so beautifully to your eyes as to become your muse and positive energy just surges through every fiber of your being like an electric current, filling you to the core. Happiness permeates every minute avenue of your body, every small vein and artery, and fills every part of you, every single appendage and body part.

I wish all days were like this. But as I’ve said, there are two kinds of days. And not all days are good. But I’m glad today was. Hope tomorrow is, too.